Five Handy Travel Tips

Handy Travel Tip #207:  If your bag is ten rows behind your seat, avoid the urge to barge past 40 people when the plane lands.  You’ll get stuck trying to come back and just clog things up.  Try waiting patiently until the intervening passengers have deplaned and stroll back casually to pick up your stuffs.

Handy Travel Tip #416:  Don’t text at the urinals in the DFW airport Men’s room.  Just don’t.

Handy Travel Tip #847:  Don’t piss off the flight attendants by trying to put 22″ roller bags in the short overheads on the port side (at least on American).  Editors note:  Port is left, but always relative to the front of the airplane, so that’s to your RIGHT as you are boarding.  In other words, over the seats labeled A, B, C or A, C.  And don’t ask what happened to B.)

Handy Travel Tip #264: When you get to your row and there’s someone in the aisle seat blocking your access, don’t stand immediately in their way blocking them from moving into the aisleway.  Where exactly do you figure they are going to go?

Handy Travel Tip #914: If the revolving door leaving the secure area has a recording that says  “Only two people per revolving door opening, please.  Touching the door will cause it to stop.”, it probably means that five people in the door opening is going to cause a delay.

Collect them all!